I’ve been hard at work up here at Londo Lodge and frankly I am loving all the distraction. I have to say, Jess’ post about holiday loneliness here on the blog really resonated with me. It’s been weird living alone during the holidays during a pandemic. And decorating for Christmas has felt both cathartic and kinda hollow. I’m thankful for the extra light and sparkle the Christmas tree brings into my ever-evolving living/dining room but I’m also kinda like WHO IS THIS FOR NO ONE IS GONNA SEE THIS (though having my sister and nephew up to help decorate it was a treat). I’ve been up in my new hometown of Fish Camp for two months now and, in a weird way, it’s been easier for me to interact socially here because I can have a stronger set of covid precautions. I have everyone get tested and quarantine before heading up, which works out because everyone I know is pretty much as observant and shut-in as I am. I also get tested every week and so far I haven’t gotten sick.
Moving into this house – which was purchased as a place I’m hoping will be a shared vacation home for my family once this is all over – in a time when gathering is more difficult and fraught than normal has been a strange experience. I find myself fixating so much on how spaces will be used in the future that I forget to make them functional for the current state of things. My plans for how and when I will do the actual renovations on this house have changed since I moved up here for a few reasons. Firstly, the more I thought about it the more I realized I wasn’t really willing to compromise on the complexity of the renovation I want to do. And the renovation I want to do is going to be expensive, time-consuming, and likely something I won’t want to be in the house for. Secondly, and more practically, I’ve been pretty disheartened by the lack of respect and awareness about the coronavirus the locals up here seem to have. I’ve had a number of different people (internet installation, fireplace inspection, electricians, etc) stop by the house with not one thought to wear a mask, despite the fact that I open the door wearing one. Since I don’t necessarily want a crew of maskless men in my house, I’m kinda thinking it will be better to wait until things clear up a little bit before starting any major renovations.
Can we just have a sidebar conversation about toxic masculinity and masks? Nine times out of ten the person I see walking down the street not wearing a mask is a man. And since I know that many of the readers of this blog are women married to/dating men can I just ask you to get your men under control? It’s completely ridiculous that straight men seem to be much less likely to wear a mask, despite the scientific data backing up that it is a chivalrous thing to do in that it protects others and it can actually help protect your own health. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Apparently, they’ve done studies and straight men won’t bring reusable grocery bags (LOL remember those? Like when we were allowed to reuse things without worrying they’d contaminate everyone?) because they worry it makes them look gay. Honestly, as a gay man sometimes I don’t see how straight women put up with this shit. Brian Henderson is the only straight man in the world that I like. The rest of them are trash. Just kidding. Kind of.
In reality, I obviously don’t hate all straight men. In fact, one of the reasons I’m so annoyed about all of this is that one of the straight men in my life, my brother, who is an ER nurse, got diagnosed with covid this past week. He got it from working in a hospital that is overwhelmed because people refuse to social distance or wear masks. He got it because he had to reuse PPE (still in short supply, apparently) so many times that it often got tattered and fell off. I know that most of the people not wearing masks could be wearing masks and should be because our healthcare systems are at a breaking point and it’s a small thing you can do for your fellow Americans.
All of this is to say that while I wait for Covid to stop ruining everything, I wanted to do some quick and easy updates around the house that provided some inspiration to those out there who may be in the same state of not wanting random workers in their houses, getting their spittle everywhere, during a pandemic AND people who might not have (or want to spend) tons on updating their house in an uncertain time. One thing to note about the little updates that I’m doing at Londo Lodge (which I will be sharing both here and on my blog) is that they’re not really the style I’m going for in the final look of the house. In these mini-makeovers I’m going for a more rough/artsy vibe while in the eventual makeover I’ll be doing a Cape Cod meets Craftsman, formal vibe. Anyway, I just don’t want you to be confused when I start posting about the second round of makeovers because they are going to be different than these. Part of the point is playing around with design while I wait for the big changes to get underway.
One more thing before I get to what I did in the guest room I designed for my parents. I GOT A DOG!!! I’m obsessed with her and she is the most beautiful girl in the world and is just a little butterball of PURE LOVE. Her name is Saturday (Satie for short, pronounced like “Sadie”). She is still in the midst of potty training and is very much a puppy (3 months old) but as a first-time dog dad, I have been pleasantly surprised at how easy she is. Yes, she thinks my kitchen is the toilet but honestly who cares she’s literally a baby? And because she’s part pit bull she’s cold all the time which means she loves wearing sweaters which is literally the cutest thing in the whole world.
Okay, now to the topic at hand: what I did to transform the formerly BLAH downstairs guest bedroom to make it ready for my parents to visit ASAP (safely, of course). Eventually, the plan with this room is to blow out the walls and extend it into an adjacent powder room to create a larger guest bedroom with an en suite bathroom and French doors leading to a deck (that doesn’t exist yet). But for now, I wanted to make it cozy and comfortable.
P.S. ALL OF THE PRODCUT RESOURCES ARE OVER ON MY BLOG. COME ALONG WHY DON’T YOU… AFTER YOU READ THIS POST FULL OF INTERESTING AND IMPORTANT INFORMATION.
The jumping-off point for me was the beautiful wall mural I got from York Wallcoverings (full disclosure: I did a collaboration for them which was the motivation for this whole makeover). Anyone who knows me knows I hate accent walls (unless there is some sort of architectural reason for them) BUT I love a mural. The reason I don’t like accent walls is they can often seem haphazard and thoughtless. I don’t think this accent would have worked if I had just used a solid color or even a pattern. I think for that type of accent wall to work you’d have to use some sort of trim, there would need to be an indentation in the wall, or there would need to be another reason for the wallpaper or accent color to just stop. I’m sure this is a controversial topic but I will go to my grave screaming about how I don’t like accent walls (or TVs above fireplaces for that matter).
Because I am not a fan of accent walls I wanted this mural to look as intentional as possible, more like a wall shape. Which is why I rounded the corners so it felt a little softer and more dynamic, less like a flat rectangle trying to cover one wall of a room. I did this by using a round piece of wood as a guide and cutting with a super sharp blade.
One of the things I loved about this mural is how soft and neutral the color palette was. So for the rest of the colors in the room, I wanted to stay in the beige, ivory, flax world. I used to hate beige, but I’ve been getting more and more into it lately and love seeing it used in non-gross ways. It can be a really warm, soothing color.
This room (and almost the entire house) was originally carpeted in beautiful, lush 1992 carpet. I have to say, I was a little sad to see it go. And even orMOMdo guilted me about getting rid of it (it’s soooo cozy on the feet). But I knew I would be replacing it with a pretty rug that goes almost to the walls so I was confident I could keep the space cozy while making it less nauseating to look at. I removed the rug myself and hauled it off to the dump (apparently it gets recycled which is kinda fun) and felt SO much better after. I still have a lot of this carpet to get rid of and it’s a lot of work (there are about 90 million staples underneath that are super hard to remove) but it’s one way I can get everything prepped for the final renovations here and less demo to pay for later.
I was tempted to leave the sub-floor as-is, as it was sort of weathered and splatter painted in a Leanne Ford way that made me happy. But I ended up painting it A) because I thought the splatter would look too busy and I wanted the room to have a soothing vibe and B) I felt the painted surface was a bit more safe, less likely to splinter. I actually just found random paint in the garage from the house’s exterior that I used and it’s holding up perfectly. If I were doing this as a permanent solution I’d probably have taken more care about what type of paint I used but since this is only gonna be like this for a short while I didn’t wanna waste the money.
The doors in the house are a really pretty neutral wood and while I plan on replacing them with heavier, more traditional doors eventually, I love the way they interact with the color of the rug and the rest of the textiles in the room. There’s actually a lot of really pretty light neutral wood tones all over this house and I’m getting a lot of inspiration from them.
Speaking of light, I replaced the dated flush mount with a simple globe pendant that I swagged to center over the bed. Someone on Instagram DM’d me this morning to ask me why I did that and it took me off guard because I had no idea. I just hadn’t thought *not* to do that. Like it seemed like the globe should have some relation to the bed, to make it feel cozy on that side of the room. It has the effect a canopy might have, creating a little atmosphere above the bed. But it’s weird how design can be instinctual like that sometimes. Like I do things without even thinking about it because I know that’s how it’s supposed to be.
The rug and the bench definitely helped amp up the cozy vibe, bringing in more textiles and more neutral colors. And the mid-century nightstands and dresser bring in a bit of a teak vibe that also nods to the Japanese flourishes around the room. While the mural provided the inspiration for the room, I never would have chosen it had it not reminded me of a vintage Japanese painting orMOMdo bought for me years ago (which you can see hanging between the two doors). My mom spent part of her childhood in Japan so I grew up loving Japanese art and design and thought it felt appropriate for a guest room where my parents would sleep.
Speaking of orMOMdo, she made the window coverings! I’m gonna have to do a tutorial about them because they’re actually super easy and we’re basically putting them in every window of the house (until I replace all the windows and doors and get legit window treatments). As someone who’s bought those paper accordion temporary window shades more than once after a move, I have to say these are a much better temporary solution. They’re not super user-friendly (you have to roll them up by hand which I don’t mind but might not be everyone’s cup of tea) but they cost less than $20 a piece and I think they look pretty chic for that price.
Believe it or not, I did all of this work by myself. So in my opinion this makeover is pretty approachable for anyone who’s not afraid of a little DIY (and who doesn’t mind their fingers turning into bloody stumps from removing carpet). I even wallpapered for the first time! The whole wallpapering process took me about three hours. The paper I selected came unpasted, which is actually the most forgiving for walls like mine that have texture. The hand-painted texture of the mural also helped hide any bumps so I’d suggest something similar to any of you out there that don’t want to skim coat your walls but are craving a wallpaper moment.
This room was definitely a study in high-meets-low design. Some things were more of a splurge (the rug and the wallpaper) but some were a total steal (you’ll die when you find out how much that bed cost!). Over on my blog, you can see more photos of the project, get all the details about sourcing, and find out where I scrimped and where I splurged. Head on over and check it out!
Design and Photos by Orlando Soria
I feel the same way about men not wearing masks and toxic masculinity!!!! Thank you for saying this. Honestly I kind of developed misanthropic tendencies this year. Apart from that – your dog is such a cutie and of course you did a wonderful job with the room! It looks so soothing and relaxing.
Same. And yes, slow clap for calling out men and the people not holding them accountable. So done with all the bullsh*t caused by toxic masculinity.
Also, love the mural. The rounded edges!
For all the naysayers that crap on about men will be men, boys will be boys…. I call it bullshit!
Good humans are good humans.
Toxic masculinity has got us jnto so much trouble.
In fact toxic masculinity is going to move out of my house!!
Har-dee-har-har!!!! 😃
It’s not toxic masculinity. It’s idiotism. Full stop.
There are as many female idiots as male idiots – whether or not you believe toxic masculinity is a thing, there’s something going wrong with straight dudes/straight dude culture that they’re more likely not to wear masks
Even better if we don’t expect women (girlfriends, mothers or wiwes…) “to get their men under control”.
Men are responsible for their action! It’s not women’s fault or responsability to teach them to be good human beings.
I mean, it’s not our job as women to hold men accountable. That’s a super unfair expectation – it’s on men to hold themselves and other men accountable. That’s not on us!
Yes! Such a gorgeous dog! Tell us more about her! 🙂
Also, I found this report really helpful in processing all the non-mask wearing people: https://gbdeclaration.org
Yep! I live in New York City, and March and April here were utterly terrifying. For awhile I assumed that people in the rest of the country weren’t taking this seriously because it was abstract to them–they hadn’t lived through the horror of non-stop sirens and refrigerated trucks full of corpses and coffin shortages. I figured if they knew, if they really knew how that felt, they’d be more careful. But now it’s everywhere, so I guess I was wrong? And a lot of people would rather die and contribute to the deaths of their loved ones than risk looking like they care?
It’s annoying and sad that you feel the need to give us all a “Covid shaming” talk! Why???? I couldn’t even finish your post!
Maybe because people are literally dying? We just passed 300,000 deaths in the US. Public health should not be seen as political or as controversial. Masks and social distancing save lives and Orlando is just doing his part to protect you and your loved ones. Thank you, Orlando.
THANK YOU SO MUCH ORLANDO!
I’m so glad I’m in Australia with only 3 community cases in the whole freakin country, but we are not complacent. We’re vigilant and ready to jump on outbreaks as they happen.
Agree. I doubt shaming is really gonna change anyone’s behavior, but we’ve had nearly a year to get used to this sh-t and people still are acting like careless jerks, and I am just so over it and am done being polite. And also I know someone who very recently died who always wore his mask and only left his house for necessities and got it at the damn grocery store where people weren’t being good about masking, so I am extra angry right now.
It boggles my mind that people say heartless things like this. Shaming?! Either Courtney somehow doesn’t know anyone who has lost a loved one or had lasting side effects due to COVID, or she DOES and is somehow still acting like her hurt feelings are the true tragedy here. Honestly Courtney, get lost.
I don’t see how he gave “us” a Covid shaming…unless you’re in the group he’s talking about who doesn’t wear masks! Anyone not wearing a mask, flagrantly disregarding the health and safety of others SHOULD be shamed! And thank you Orlando for calling attention to the fact that 85% of the time is A-hole men who apparently think they’re “too tough” to wear a mask or catch C19. Newsflash A-holes: it’s NOT about YOU! But that idea has never once applied to them in their entire lives so they just can’t even comprehend the concept. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been in the grocery or Costco (the only places I go) in the past 10 months and nearly bumped into a dude not wearing a mask or half-assing it (half-masking it?) meanwhile his wife and kids are all dutifully wearing their masks…..this makes me inexplicably angrier than just a random single dude without a mask. How do women stay married to these guys?!?
I couldn’t finish the post either. I wear a mask, every man I’m around wears a mask. To add to the divisiveness between gays and straights by stereotyping every straight man just because some came to your house without a mask isn’t changing anything for the better. And how did you even know they were straight? If your statement was flipped and someone wrote that about gay men, how would you feel? And if it was flipped a lot of people would be furious. Yet there is already a comment below saying how great that you said that. There is a big double standard here.
We need to come together as a country and understand that each group of people (however you define what group you are in is up to you) is going to have a small percentage that do frustrating things that we don’t approve of. It’s not us against them. It’s educating all of us as a whole to do better. Let’s quit hating on each other.
I finished the post, and didn’t take offense about the COVID warnings, but I must say that in my little backwater, it’s mainly *women* who don’t wear masks. Our post office has three clerks – two young women who don’t wear one and an older man who does (everyone’s behind plexiglass, which was pointed out to me when I complained). The one workman I’ve had in the house all year came to the door in his mask and kept it on the entire time he worked.
At the grocery store last month, I had to leave a full cart behind and walk out empty-handed when the only cashier was wearing hers below her nose. Then I went to Target instead for groceries, and there were two maskless women and their children shopping.
I made the mistake of going to an in-person book club at a private room in a restaurant this past summer, and although I was told people would be wearing masks, I was the only one who did; I should’ve left. The other 8 women and the 2 men who were there didn’t even bother to bring one to take off when they ate.
lol… I promise straight men don’t need you to defend them from the mean old gays, Beth.
Right?! I swear, the lengths women will go to in order to defend stupid men….
You missed the point… I have gay friends and they don’t discriminate. They don’t try to perpetuate this story that it’s ‘them’ against ‘us’. We are just all friends, together without labels. I just don’t see why ‘straight men’ had to be added to the narrative. It has nothing to do with a person not wearing a mask. The writer was labelling people who won’t wear masks as ‘straight men’ and then dogging them. I don’t know about you, but I don’t normally ask workers who come to my home what their sexuality is. I don’t assume I know what it is, nor do I think about or care. This isn’t about defending straight or gays, it’s about continuing the divisiveness of this country by labelling as such when it has nothing to do with whether or not they wear a mask.
You know who does care about other people’s sexuality? LGBTQ+ people. Want to know why? Because we want to know if we are among our community, if we will be accepted, if we are safe. It is privilege to not wonder about someone’s sexuality. Denying differences isn’t better than acknowledging and them. People are different – that is what is great about us. Diversity is awesome. Celebrate it, don’t erase it.
I totally get that. But this is about people not wearing masks. Nothing about it regards sexuality. Adding it into the story instead of just saying ‘ I’ve had it with some people not wearing masks’ perpetuates the hate and division that you describe. I’m not against you or what you are saying, but why does it fit within this story?
My sense was that Orlando was referring to actual research. If so, then its just facts, no need to get upset.
What is sad is that there have been 300,000 preventable deaths from this virus. I am devastated by that number, particularly because it includes people I love who died alone and terrified in the ICU.
I wish every single thing I read on the internet screamed WEAR A MASK. What is sad and annoying about a reminder to care for one another? Wearing a mask is literally the least we can do to be courteous to others—something we need much more of if we’re going to survive this.
Because…if it wasn’t required, there wouldn’t be Americans dropping like flies from a virus that COULD HAVE BEEN CONTROLLED!!!
Like, really?
Your comment reminds me of the person that commented about just go and have thd kids sit on Santa’s lap like “It’s not the plague” IT ACTUALLY IS THE PLAGUE!!!
And until people pull their heads out of their proverbial anuses, people who are NOT STUPID, like Orlando and others who actually have a brain, must keep shaming those whose brains are malfunctioning!
Maybe thereare two viruses? One that is called Covid-19 and one that secretly eats people’s brains and makes thrm not believe Covid-19 is real?
Wot. The?
🙄
Agree. As a reader for over 10 years this was my last blog visit sadly.
Bye!
I hope you can use the time you’ve saved from not reading the blog to consider how your actions directly affect the health and safety of those in your community!
This is not an airport and you don’t need to announce your departure.
ha ha ha!!
See ya!
COVID shaming? More like “shaming folks who prioritize their own comfort over other people’s safety”
Feeling uncomfortable for just a moment versus my husband’s grandma dying all alone because someone decided to not wear a mask.
Aren’t you just privileged that you are so unaffected and only annoyed.
I’m so sorry about your husband’s grandma.
Hi Courtney, I’m a nurse and we’re getting pretty tired of people not following the masking guidelines. If you do this, you deserve to be shamed because you’re being a selfish person and are putting others at risk.
Thank you for everything you are doing.
Ha! It’s not ‘covid shaming’ it’s a rant against idiotic, inconsiderate, bullshit behaviour. And I feel Orlando’s frustration with the behaviour he’s experiencing.
But to answer your question ‘why????’ :- because people like my friends mother needlessly died from Covid19, because people like me ended up needing help to breath after contracting the virus (7 months later I still cannot breath normally), because people cannot see their families for fear of their health, because businesses are being asked to close to help prevent spread of the virus, because people are now unemployed as a consequence, because front line workers are exhausted trying to keep people alive, because the very least you can do as a decent human being is wear a mask!!!
So be sad and be annoyed if you must but while you’re at it…wear a damn mask.
Love the room.
Hate the mural.
Oh, Susanna, why would you post this?
Really? Why is that necessary to share?
I like the connection to the painting and it seems like Orlando’s mom will love it!
Which painting was referred to? The one with the rounded gray shapes reminds me of the mural, but the orange one is “between the doors”. Both are marvelous!
There are three doors in the photo so that may have been a bit confusing – I assume he meant the one on the right! I love both too.
I LOOOOOVE the mural. I want to marry it.
omg. i had to stop reading just now to comment this before i continue. i love orlando’s posts. this is so classic: “Honestly, as a gay man sometimes I don’t see how straight women put up with this shit. Brian Henderson is the only straight man in the world that I like. The rest of them are trash. Just kidding. Kind of.”
i love O too much.
okay, just finished the post. here are my thoughts. i love the room. i LOVE the rounded corners idea for the mural. it does look more special that way. i had another idea about that. what if you created wood pieces that fit over those rounded corners and stick out? so it’s like a faux-nook? i hope you get what i mean.
also, love the natural wood doors. sad you’re going to replace them. but i’m sure you have a vision.
everything looks so good.
Funny, i thought the same thing about a ‘nook!’ it looks fab now but that might take it over the top. and i also had the same thought about the doors- that maybe just the knobs could be changed because the grain of the wood is actually lovely.
Yessssss!
That’s why I said B Hendo is “woke”!
hahaha. he is and I can’t wait to tell him that. xx
Can we talk about the magical orb ceramic on the dresser next to the lamp? How? Where? Vase? Ceramic? I love it!
I agree with you about how weird it is that so many straight men have decided that wearing a mask is somehow a threat to their masculinity. It’s like a toddler throwing a giant temper tantrum over having to eat vegetables. Just grow up, already!
Where we part company is on murals and accent walls. I am TEAM ACCENT WALL! And I would never put up a mural on my walls. I don’t like that much pattern. But I do like a dramatic pop of color on a wall.
I know this was not meant to be a literal comparison, but as a mother of a 2.5 year old I feel compelled to chime in in defense of toddlers everywhere. My daughter absolutely refuses to eat vegetables, but I can count on one hand the number of times she’s refused to mask up or taken off her mask while we were out in public. Her mom and dad wear them when they go out, so she must wear one, too. It’s as simple as that. In fact, when she sees her parents and everyone else in her community with masks on, she insists on wearing hers, too. Yes, I’ve seen maskless kids at stores and playgrounds, but where I live it’s the exception rather than the rule. My point? It’s not about growing up. Yes, it’s partially about basic common sense and consideration for others. But it’s also about your upbringing and mirroring the prevalent attitude of your community and those closest to you.
Lots of these adults are behaving WORSE than toddlers. Even little kids know they need to wash their hands when they use the bathroom and be kind to others, and their brains are far from fully developed. There are grown adults in this comment section talking about having consideration for others in their community as if it’s some philosophical debate over an impossible Sisyphean task, not something we should all be doing by default even under normal circumstances.
RS, thank you for being such a contentious parent. I drove by a pre-school playground the other day and all the toddlers were sweetly playing with their masks on. I guess from their perspective masks are equivalent to wearing pants; for some reason their parents have decided they’re necessary when out in public. 🙂
“…can I just ask you to get your men under control?” Hahaha!!! 😂 Damn! That’s asking the impossible! Just. Can’t. Stop. Laughing. At. Your. Sense. Of. Humour! 🤣
Your dawg is gorgeous!!!! Saturday as in Boy, Friday….Girl, Saturday?? Are you feeling like you’re alone on an island? Sweet baby faced girl! She’s already your bestie!
I love the detail of curving the tops of the mural! Brilliant. I also love that you tune into your intuition and go with your gut, like with the pendant.
Also loving the Japanese touches for your mother. I havd a couple of little dishes that were “made in occupied Japan” straight after WWII. They’re really small, but so special. The only Japanese things in my house.
I, too, had gone completely off beige and greige, but am slinking back jnto a bit if beige as long as it’s textural…and not paint. If that makes any sense?
I’m excited to see the experimental phase one designs. Playing around because it doesn’t have to be permanent is great fun!
The room is terrific but I’m curious……would anyone besides me NOT be comfortable with the big globe light directly overhead while sleeping? I’m not suggesting a fear of it falling…..but I know I’d feel claustrophobic with it hanging so close. I wouldn’t want to open my eyes and see it looming over me. Just wondering.
We actually did the same. Simple reason: I loved the bigger globe, but due to low ceiling height this was the best position to not bump in it when walking around the room.
I wouldn’t put a fixture right above my bed, but I live in earthquake country so I don’t want bulbs or electrical equipment anywhere near me while I sleep! I love the wallpaper mural idea though – I never want to hang framed artwork or mount shelves above the bed (for the same earthquake safety reasons) so that’s a great solution.
Orlando, this is beautiful! It doesn’t look temporary at all. It never would have occurred to me that you could paint subfloor. Did you have to sand the whole thing first?
BTW, I also had work done on my house during the pandemic and while I was on the phone with the contractor, I told him that he and everyone who worked with him must wear a mask (and correctly) the whole time they’re in my house. Definitely caught them off guard but they complied. I guess you just need to clear it with them first. Should be obvious but it’s not.
PS. Totally hear you on straight men not wearing masks. My husband does with no promoting from me. But my dad, who’s 70,needs to be reminded constantly. I think it has to do with the age as much as the gender.
I think it’s a gender thing, unfortunately. You know, the ‘nothing can get me’ doof-mantra? Cigarettes won’t kill me…Covid won’t kill me, ah, but they do and could. Yeah, nah, donkeys.
Rusty you crack me up. any don’t we say donkeys more often??
I am obsessed with that mural by York, it’s so gorgeous!!!
This post was so disappointing. I actually quite like the design, but could have done without the extremely unnecessary and inappropriate rant about straight men and masking.
I am a woman and am unable to wear a mask, after a super scary episode of wearing one for a lengthy period of time and having all of my extremities go numb and my blood pressure and oxygen levels plummet. I had to be put on an oxygen tank to recover, and the paramedics said that my body was most likely reacting to the increased CO2 inhalation from wearing the mask (as I’ve never had this happen before and it hasn’t happened since). Look, I get that I’m in the minority here, and not everyone who isn’t wearing a mask has a medical reason not to, but my point is that humans are wildly unique and that medical interventions (yes, including “a harmless scrap of cloth”) are not, in fact, one size fits all. Because of mask mandates, I am no longer able to shop at my local co-op or farmers’ markets for the most nutritious and sustainable food to support my health (not to mention the planet and my local economy), which is so frustrating because I work VERY hard to keep my body in good health with proper nutrition.
I share this because I am so disheartened to see a post like this on a blog I have followed and adored (and been Em-fluenced by, and have purchased from) for years, promote this kind of discriminatory, hateful ranting. Imagine for a moment that the sentence had read “Oprah Winfrey is the only black woman I like. The rest of them are trash. Just kidding. Kind of.” As people who promote tolerance and compassion and who are vehemently opposed to discrimination, what makes Orlando’s sweeping judgments about an entire group of people who he doesn’t know personally acceptable? You can preach all day long about patterns and tendencies, but at the end of the day, all I’m hearing is that a large group of human beings are being referred to, “kind of jokingly,” as trash. In my opinion, this mentality goes against everything the Emily Henderson brand has historically stood for. I do very much hope this is not the type of rhetoric that will continue to be condoned. Thank you for taking the time to listen to and consider your readers’ feedback.
This EXACTLY.
I guess men and republicans are more likely to be genetically predisposed to the very unfortunate condition you had, then
Just wanna point out that using an analogy comparing “Black women” to “straight men” is, at the very least, problematic for a whole host of reasons, including that straight men aren’t a historically oppressed group. If you didn’t catch it, I was using hyperbole. I obviously don’t hate all straight men. In fact, one of the reasons I’m so annoyed about all of this is that one of the straight men in my life, my brother, who is an ER nurse, got diagnosed with covid this past week. He got it from working in a hospital that is overwhelmed because people refuse to social distance or wear masks. He got it because he had to reuse PPE (still in short supply, apparently) so many times that it often got tattered and fell off. I’m not sure what your condition is, but I do know that most of the people not wearing masks could be wearing masks and should be because our healthcare systems are at a breaking point and it’s a small thing you can do for your fellow Americans. N95s are very breathable and barely constrict oxygen, and I think a lot of people claiming they can’t wear them should seek psychological help because it’s a psychological issue – which isn’t to say it’s not a valid issue – it very much is. Trying to keep your community safe – rather than screaming ME! ME! ME! FREEDOM! – is truly the patriotic thing to do. My patience for the anti-mask mentality melted a long time ago. Sorry if my concern for the 300K+ people who have died and the people in my life who are in immediate danger is inconvenient for you.
Hi Orlando!
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my comment. I always appreciate the ability to have ongoing conversation and to be able to probe and clarify each other’s stances.
I’m still not exactly clear why my rephrasing of your statement was problematic. Though I agree that black people *have* historically been oppressed in our country, and there tragically is still racism that must be called out and rectified wherever it is present, I do not see how this can be used to justify or downplay prejudice against *any* group of human beings. I am super familiar with your writing style and typically love your hyperbole and all-caps rants and laugh-out-loud commentary, but I feel that it is at the same time necessary to wonder how many other periods of extreme discrimination, dehumanization, and oppression also began with “harmless” jokes and hyperbole about certain groups of people being “trash.” I hope you can understand that regardless of your intentions in making such comments, there will be many who find them concerning.
I assure you that your concern for all those who have died, and for people like your brother who are on the front lines and facing extra risk every single day, is not inconvenient to me. In fact, I find it quite admirable that you have deep compassion and concern for the safety of yourself and others. I simply do not think that this concern (a very good thing!) can be used to justify broad negative generalizations about others (I think we mostly agree this is not so good a thing?). I shared my personal experience with mask-wearing in hopes that it would help others pause when they encounter strangers and consider that someone is not automatically a terrible, selfish, compassion-less person for not having a mask on. The reality of being a human is that much of what we do every day carries risk both for ourselves and for others. For example, just because I get in a car to drive somewhere does not mean that I don’t have compassion for others, even though I am fully aware that no matter how carefully I drive, many car accidents happen every year in our country and more than 36,000 people die from them, and every time I get in a car I am taking the risk that I will be one of those people. You may think that again I am making a false comparison, but my main goal is to put a real human face behind the question of whether or not we must all mask.
Thank you for taking the time to listen and to respond!
If you look at the histories of the oppressed groups we are talking about here, their oppression did not begin from jokes. Gay people, women, Black people, were all, in different ways and at different degrees of violence at different times, deeply, pervasively dehumanized across the culture, and lived lives that were tragically limited and controlled by their society.
Comparing that to joking about straight men is a false equivalence. I get that it feels icky that someone would make a negative generalization about a group. And maybe it is icky, or rude, or unfriendly. But that doesn’t make it the same thing as a racist or sexist or homophobic comment. It isn’t connected to millennia of dehumanization.
Also if you find yourself “wonder[ing]” about the beginning of oppression, that is a wonderful opportunity to begin learning the history of these groups.
Thank you for your thoughtful response, LS. I may not have communicated clearly enough that I am not arguing somehow that the “plight” of the straight white American man in 2020 is somehow equivalent to (a 1:1 ratio as another commenter mentioned) the historical oppression of other groups. I made the comment about replacing a black woman into the joke about straight men NOT to equivocate their historical oppression, but to argue that just as we find such comments about black women unacceptable, we should ALSO find them unacceptable about straight men (and ALL other people groups), even if they are not considered to be a widely oppressed group. There are certainly varying levels of prejudice and dehumanization, to be sure, and I am not arguing that anti-Semitism was launched into the world by one lone joke, but maybe we can agree that having this sort of mindset toward *anyone*, to be able to readily joke about them being trash (regardless of how much we think they deserve it), does not lend itself to a mentality of empathy, compassion, or tolerance, in oneself or in others. In my opinion, there should not be a spectrum of allowable discrimination based on the historical oppression of one’s own people groups. But I guess I may be in alone in that thinking here, and that’s ok too. I just felt it was a conversation worth having, and I thank you for joining in!
Hi Morgan,
I’m an all-day mask wearer (nine hours at school and every grocery errand I run), and I’m in a non-white family. I just wanted to say that I appreciate this thoughtful response. I might differ in opinion with you on some fronts, but your calm approach stands out as something we could use more of in civil discourse. Just throwing that out there.
Thank you so much for your heartening words, Martha! I definitely have heated moments, as we all do, but I really feel like the future of our country rests so much on the ability to have calm and constructive conversations about controversial issues. Disagreeing viewpoints shouldn’t prevent us from engaging with each other in a meaningful way! I so appreciate YOU engaging too. Thank you!
I think we can stop making jokes about straight white men when they stop killing us.
Sorry, I should say men. And hyperbole and humor is historically a tool that oppressed groups with less power use to address injustices and crimes by those with more power.
Yeah, comparing the risk of driving to not masking is ridiculous, and I suspect that you already know this. Also, any time someone compares the number of Covid19 deaths to deaths by another fill-in-the-blank way, it sounds completely heartless (and if you didn’t know this, now you know.) People are dying of this virus by the hundreds of thousands! Let’s acknowledge that and do our best to stop it. Car accidents, ARE ACCIDENTS. That’s why they are classified as such. It’s also why we wear a seat belt. So if anything, let’s consider a mask as a seat belt for your face (that also protects others) if that helps out your inadequate analogy.
The truth is, I do think of someone as a “terrible, selfish, compassion-less person for not having a mask on”. The reason why people are still getting sick is because others refuse to do their part to stop the spread. Now I can’t begin to imagine what medical issues you had to deal with by wearing one, but what it tells me is that you need to stay home until this is all over, or find a facial covering that works for you (there are infinite designs all over in which to choose from). Because if you had such a negative reaction to wearing a mask just one time, there’s no telling what you’ll actually have to deal with if you actually get Covid19.
Hi Rae!
Thank you for responding. I do understand why you feel that comparing Covid deaths to other deaths is heartless. For the record, I was not attempting to diminish the tragedy of one cause of death over another. I personally believe that ALL death is tragic. Maybe I should have expanded the analogy? The thing is, car deaths ARE preventable… by never getting into a car and driving. But we would consider that to be pretty unrealistic in 2020, right? Making driving illegal to prevent car deaths? And so, we assume the risk, both to ourselves and others, and we take every precaution we can (yes to seatbelts, and boy am I grateful for how much car safety features have improved), but we do so knowing that we could very well die… or kill someone else. Now, imagine that we, as a society, decided to outlaw cars and driving to prevent these deaths. Such a law might not affect everyone, like those who live in walkable towns. But many people *would* be negatively affected… unable to get to their jobs, visit family, run errands, etc. Would we be angry at those people for being selfish by wanting to continue driving their cars, even with the risks involved? Being able to drive a car to get to where we need to go is something we consider to be a necessary aspect of modern life, and I’d be willing to bet many of us wouldn’t let it go easily. (The Earth would likely thank us, though.)
Car accident deaths are one of many examples. Indeed, if we were truly concerned about taking measures to end all preventable deaths in the name of health and safety and compassion for ourselves and fellow humans, would we not long ago have prohibited the sale of junk food, made cigarettes completely illegal, or tackled the opioid crisis in any meaningful way? Yet, imagine the outcry if there were mandates for eating vegetables, or strict limits imposed on alcohol sales. If being a compassionate and patriotic person means that you do everything in your power to prevent preventable deaths, should we not then be pursuing ALL avenues of public health and safety? Or only the ones that everyone insists are “easy,” like wearing a mask in public?
As I mentioned before, I’m far from perfect, but I work pretty dang hard to keep me and my family healthy. And that goes FAR beyond mask wearing and social distancing. Part of my motivation for doing this is to help manage the multiple autoimmune disorders in our family— but I don’t expect other people to be responsible for our health. However, I know that if WE are healthy, we are helping keeping others healthy.
Perhaps the most mystifying aspect of all of this, to me, is that pre-Covid, most people I know didn’t take contagious illness all that seriously. And yes, I am fully aware, Covid is NOT THE FLU, but it’s no secret that historically the flu has killed many elderly and immunocompromised people. Where was the concern then? I had coworkers who would get angry at me for asking why they came to work sick (literally coughing and sneezing all over me). These same people now insist *I* stay home even when I am in good health. Where were the daily death tickers on the news for flu deaths in prior years? Did those deaths matter less? Were they less worthy of taking active preventable measures? Sure, we could argue the past is in the past, and we know more now, and when you know more and do better. Perhaps with that line of thinking, we accept that we will be wearing masks indefinitely to protect others from all contagious illness.
Anyway… to answer your question about how I’m protecting myself from Covid given my own medical issues, the answer is, I just avoid public places now. I find this to be very isolating and sad, but it feels like the only option given my previous reaction to wearing the mask. I know I’m not alone in this boat, but it doesn’t make it any less bleak. And maybe it won’t really be indefinitely… or forever… but that seems kind of hard to believe at the moment.
Morgan – #NotAllMen, false equivalencies, and slippery slope arguments.
Wearing masks to protect public health is like outlawing cars? Come on.
Here’s how your car analogy really works:
You can drink in your own home, you can get blackout drunk in your own home. It’s your personal choice, go right ahead.
But as a society we’ve decided that it’s against the law to get behind the wheel and drive while intoxicated because now your personal choices impact others.
As a society we’ve also decided to ban smoking in public places, also to protect public health. You still get to smoke like a chimney in your own home.
People really can wear masks, and if you had such an extraordinary reaction to wearing one that you physically couldn’t do it? The wise thing for you to do would be to advocate for mask usage! Because as long as we have extreme levels of spread because people won’t take basic NPI health precautions, people like you are going to get sick. And if a mask is devastating? Imagine what a ventilator will feel like.
Just to say – I think a more apt analogy to wearing a mask during a pandemic might be between *wearing a seatbelt* while driving (a requirement that partially and for a short period of time limits bodily autonomy and/or comfort, yet which we agree to on the grounds of the common good). Whereas the example of not driving at all to prevent car accidents is more analogous to constant and full lockdown.
It’s interesting that there’s so much ongoing compliance with seatbelt laws and no-smoking laws – or at least no armed protests or heated debate – in comparison to mask wearing, despite the public health emergency and hundreds of thousands dead.
49.2% of people got vaccinated for the flu in the US in the 2018-2019 season. That’s a lot of people taking the flu seriously.
Actually, a real N95 is not easy to wear and can make breathing laborious. They aren’t meant to be worn for long periods of time but our healthcare heroes have no choice.
Non-medical mask face covers are quite easy to wear for extremely long periods of time and do no cause any deleterious health effects such as oxygen deprivation.
Agreed.
But also, Orlando’s comments: “ walking down the street not wearing a mask”.
Why would anyone (unless in a crowded city and not a remote mountain town like Orlando) wear a mask while walking down the street?
It’s a very healthy and incredibly safe way to get fresh air.
This promotion of intense and debilitating fear to groups with low risk – to the point they think wearing masks outside on a mountain is necessary – is insane to me.
Anyways, love the makeover.
I’m assuming he means walking down the street in town where you are nearby other people, not out in the open residential areas. I live in an apartment building so I always wear mine until I get outside and nobody else is around. In the spring I wore it all the time outdoors though – it really helped my allergies!!
Not insane because people in low risk groups may need to come into contact with people in high risk groups. It’s viral, as in, we’re all connected.
Not insane. I walk outside regularly too and for a long time thought I needn’t wear a mask, based on everything I’d read. However, my town of 20,000 recently started a “masks in all public places” guidance and I gladly comply, foggy glasses and all, both because I want to show a good-faith effort to protect the health of those in my community, and because of superspreader events like the *outdoor* one at the White House. There’s still a lot we don’t know about this virus, so let’s not assume we’re experts and throw out the rules while doing our favorite “healthy and incredibly safe” activity.
Whew, the “what if this said BLACK WOMEN” argument here is really something. Please, please don’t use Black women as a step-ladder for your argument.
There are not enough eyerolls in the world. Numerous people have demonstrated using scientific measures that cloth masks do not inhibit your breathing, especially if you are strolling leisurely at a farmer’s market. Our poor healthcare workers wear N95 masks (sometimes doubled up) ALL DAY. Retail workers and everyone else in the service industry wears them all day for MINIMUM WAGE. God forbid you have to wear one for half an hour. If you truly have a medical condition that prohibits you from wearing one for a short period of time, you may have to *GASP* use Instacart to buy non-organic tomatoes like the rest of us peasants – although my local co-op is on Instacart too. P.S. straight white men literally cannot suffer from discrimination the same way a black woman can. It’s simply not a 1:1 comparison and I am tired of people acting like they are defending eQuAliTY because they stood up for an unnamed cishet man.
Filing this comment under:
-Things That Definitely, Definitely Happened
-The World’s Smallest Violin Plays a Song for You
-Thank God Someone Is Here to Defend Straight Men
Thank you for the laugh this morning!
Wow. I prepared for some degree of gaslighting, but wow. I don’t even know how to respond to someone who finds another person’s medical issues hysterical.
The misconception that non-medical masks inhibit oxygen and cause carbon dioxide build up has been debunked. You can, indeed, wear a mask.
Exactly! It’s worth noting that some people may FEEL claustrophobic or start to hyperventilate when their face is constricted, especially if they have never worn a face covering before or are suffering from PTSD. HOWEVER it doesn’t mean you are actually suffocating, and it doesn’t mean you get to flaunt rules and endanger others. It just means you need to address the underlying issue, which may take time and practice. Forbes shared some tips on how to do this, and I would encourage anyone to reach out to a therapist or doctor (which can happen via Zoom!) if they are struggling with anxiety that impacts their daily life: https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicagold/2020/07/01/feeling-anxious-about-wearing-a-mask-here-are-5-ways-to-overcome-it/?sh=4413fc574629
1. You should seek actual medical help if you cannot wear a mask without medical complications, because that is medically not possible if you’re healthy and fit.
2. The reason you cannot go to the farmer’s market without a mask is because you are a risk to other people when you are not wearing a mask.
3. Comparing the plight of white dudes who are getting judged for their own bad behavior to racism is nonsensical, and also racist in and of itself. Since you can’t go out and about these days, you might spend some time educating yourself about racism. That way, when it’s safe to go out in public again, you won’t be exposing other people to your ignorance.
I… don’t believe you.
How interesting. Because of the lack of mask mandates in my area, and those who ignore them when we have them, I am not even safe at my job. Sorry about the farmer’s market though (where I am also not able to shop because of people who won’t wear masks). That’s horrifying.
Where is the bedding from
I believe all the things are linked over on the sister post on Orlando’s blog
Yes, please do a tutorial for the window coverings. I’m in love!
Also, it’s a little late in the game for me to ask this since it’s already up, but I’d love to see a tutorial for how to put up a mural like that while flying solo. (Love your idea to round off the corners!)
Here’s the issue I have. If you go to the CDC’s website and look up the survival percentages, for everyone in the group under the age of 70 the survival rate is HIGHER than for influenza. I think the issue is that we don’t regularly wear masks for all of the other diseases that are in this world. So while we can all blame everyone else for whatever reasons we choose, what is the long term plan? Don’t say wait for the covid vaccine because that doesn’t change statistics for influenza. Wear masks forever? This isn’t a one size fits all scenario, and to act like people are reckless and murdering others if they don’t wear a mask is a bit extreme. There will always be immunocompromised people in this world. Is it our social duty to wear a mask forever for them?
It needs to be said that the USA is a raging mess of Covid because of massive mismanagement.
Therefore, masks are required because the contagion is so wildly out of control (actually, it never was under control).
In Australia, most states haven’t required mask wearing at all but when there was an outbreak that was getting out of control, fast, lockdown plus enforced mask wearing with fines if you didn’t, were employed and, guess what? Zero cases again.
FACT: mask wearing works to stop the spread!
If you can’t wear a mask, then you’re at risk and should stay home or at least out of the frey.
Just as immunocompromised people, like me, have to be extra careful during normal flu seasons.
It boils down to doing what is needed forthe greater good and managing areas that we can’t cope with such as an inability to wear a mask and/or being immunocompromised.
Could counselling help in overcoming your difficulty in wearing a mask? We might be in this situation for a long time, because …
VACCINES DON’T STOP YOU BECOMING INFECTED, THEY ONLY HELP MOST PEOPLE NOT GET HORRENDOUSLY ILL FROM COVID. People could still spread it to those that haven’t had/refuse to have the vaccine.
yes!
“There will always be immunocompromised people in this world. Is it our social duty to wear a mask forever for them?” Uh, when there’s a novel virus pandemic that could kill them, then yes — it’s our social duty to wear a mask for them. When the next pandemic hits, it will be our social duty then, too. If this isn’t an automatic yes for you, you need an empathy check, and to seriously question your values.
Yes, as always, it is your social duty to take precautions to protect others in your community. That’s part of what living in a society is. If you are feeling sick you should stay home or wear a mask. Get a flu shot every year and wash your hands regularly, especially before eating. Don’t shake hands, hug, or kiss if you or the other person are feeling ill. Lobby for employers to offer comprehensive paid sick leave. The flu kills people every year, and if you care about other people you will take these relatively simple precautions to keep them safe. People in Japan were wearing masks long before COVID out of consideration for others – it is simply a part of their culture and is very effective, even in such densely populated urban areas. It’s honestly kind of stunning that you seem to think this is a new or difficult thing to do? If you really can’t handle changing your behavior for the benefit of society, I’d suggest moving to a remote rural area and being more self sufficient so that your habits have less of an effect on others.
More info on Japan here: https://www.dw.com/en/how-japans-mask-culture-may-have-saved-lives-during-coronavirus/a-55321518
CDC resources for preventing the flu: https://www.cdc.gov/flu/prevent/actions-prevent-flu.htm
Wow Jess, just because you think something does not make it true. Please do some more reading, think critically about the last time the flu wiped out 300K Americans in a single April-Dec span, and consider that even if you’re young, healthy, and lucky enough to survive Covid, you may be looking at a future with lingering health conditions, including brain fog, fatigue, permanent loss of taste/smell. And to answer your last question, I would argue YES, it IS our social duty to do what we can to care for the sickest and meekest among us. And I’m a goddamn atheist.
I would love to hear how you were helping the sickest and meekest among us before covid hit. And the idea of someone wearing a mask forever to help those who are immunocompromised is laughable. I don’t know a single person who would do this, and I imagine you will not spend the rest of your days outside/in stores etc. wearing a mask fore the rest of your life as a social duty. On the other hand, the medical society at large has said that Tuberculosis, HIV and malaria have double digit years of loss on moving forward with those suffering from these diseases. Quite frankly, the issues that most people face from those three diseases overall make covid look like a walk in the park. While large people have died from covid, the fact is that most still recover quite well. Unfortunately, those who suffer from the three diseases listed above face much larger issues.
When it comes to “traditional” illnesses like the flu, pneumonia, etc, it’s pretty simple. If you are sick, stay home or wear a mask. If there is a vaccination, get it. It’s really not that hard. If it’s cold you would wear a coat. If it’s rainy you would carry an umbrella. If your lips were dry you’d keep lip balm in your pocket. If you’re sick and have to be around others, bring a mask. You’re not “wearing a mask for the rest of your life.” IT IS NOT THAT MUCH TO ASK. People in Japan have been doing it forever. Your logic is baffling – people die from malaria, so I won’t bother wearing a mask during a pandemic? That level of mental gymnastics might unseat Simone Biles.
Pardon, it’s a false equivalence, not a strawman.
Cameron, I’m not Molly, but did comment upthread so I’m happy to address your concerns. What was I doing for the sickest and meekest among us? I’m a psychotherapist who works with folks with trauma and chronic illnesses, connecting them to resources and helping them to advocate for themselves and treating the many mental, emotional, and spiritual effects of others’ selfishness. Second, your comparison of an airborne novel virus like COVID-19 to malaria, HIV, and other diseases is a well-trod example of the strawman logical fallacy, or to put it another way: apples and oranges. Finally, I am sorry that nobody around you would put others’ health first when it comes to wearing a mask, which takes almost no effort. That must be difficult, and I truly hope you find more caring, empathetic people in your surroundings.
Also BIG BIG BIG difference between C19 and flu (shouting for those in the back who’ve been listening to Drumpf for too long): with C19, you are most contagious before symptom onset vs. with flu, you are most contagious when you feel the sickest. That is to say, most people know they’re sick when they’ve got the flu, so more than likely you’re already at home “quarantined” on your couch, not hanging out at Starbucks or eating Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Martha’s while you’re unknowingly spreading your completely asymptomatic but high viral loads of C19! WEAR YOUR DAMN MASK! And stop thinking you’re an expert without actually knowing the science. I swear the anti-science, anti-intellectualism will be the downfall of this country.
Even DJT admitted on the Woodward tapes the magnitude and deadliness of the virus.
Jess, would you minding sharing the link to the CDC where you were able to find survival percentages for COVID and influenza? Based on the numbers I found from the CDC, it seems that the opposite was true and that survival rates for influenza were higher than those for COVID across all age groups. Thanks for sharing!
I am a healthy person. I am not immunocompromised. I am not at-risk of adverse effects from the virus. I got coronavirus in March at some point. I suspected it maybe March 10 due to bizarre headaches and a little bit of lung chunkiness. On March 13, I had a fever and knew I had it. I had a mild case but I was sick for over 14 days. At the end, I had problems breathing and was terrified I would die in my sleep. My doctor (over the phone bc it wasn’t safe to have an in-person visit) urged me to go to the emergency department – but I was scared and I live alone, and that made my fear even greater. My mom lives on the other side of the country and she was terrified and could do nothing. Friends could do nothing bc I would infect them. I didn’t go to the ER and in a few days was more ok.
Even mild cases can be terrifying. Even people with absolutely no risk factors are dying. The death rate in the US is higher than any other country. We set new records almost daily – over 3,000 people died today. Maybe they were all old? Maybe they all had comorbid conditions? Maybe they weren’t in the greatest health? SO WHAT – they are people. Why should we not care about protecting people no matter who they are. I wear a mask to protect you. Why isn’t that meaningful?
So, back to my original story. I had a mild case. It is now, what – 9 months later? I continue to have potential side effects from having had a MILD case of COVID. My sense of smell is affecting in crazymaking (literally) ways. My stamina hasn’t returned. I experienced cognitive effects and depression (a very common effect of the virus is unfortunately depression).
So even if most people will get mild cases – what I am trying to impress upon you is that the effects of a mild case can be pretty terrible. My antibody count after I was sick was too low for me to donate plasma, and I worry it is too low to protect me from a reinfection. I have heard that if you get reinfected after having had COVID the second course can be far worse – and that people have even died. I dunno – it is really quite scary and it just astounds me that people don’t see to care. I even have relatives who have heard about what happened to me and don’t really think any of this is a big deal.
We will not have to wear masks forever – once ~70% of the population is vaccinated, we should be able to return to something more akin to normal. In the meantime, wear a mask- why would you want to risk infecting someone and killing them? Just wear a mask or stay home.
1. I love what you did in this room, Orlando!
2. Your dog is the absolute cutest.
3. I couldn’t agree more about straight men. I agree that they’re who I most often see maskless. Just wear a damn mask – it’s not even hard! I’ve been wearing mine so much I don’t even really notice it anymore.
Stereotype 1: straight men do not wear masks.
Stereotype 2: black people do not work.
How do you like the above statements? How true are they?
Come on…. making stereotypes leads to wars…. see the jews…
PS: of course I do not agree with any of the statements above…
There are a lot of great anti-racism and gender equality resources out there. I’d recommend doing a Google to understand why what you’re saying is not a true comparison, and why it’s not helpful (and may even be harmful). If you really care, take it upon yourself to do some self-education!
STOP INSINUATING THAT THE ACTUAL REAL ISSUE OF RACISM IS SOMEHOW EQUIVALENT TO THE (NONEXISTENT) OPPRESSION OF STRAIGHT MEN. This attempt to look woke made u look… unwoke. And if we’re worried about wars, probs the best way to prevent them is no more male world leaders.
I could write: all humorous people have long toes.
These are just stupid stereotypes. That was my point, nothing else. Absolutely no insinuation.
You’re missing the point HARD.
Darnit – why can I only like this once@
Orlando – Love the room. It’s very serene and peaceful.
Re: your critics: I don’t think that most of them are saying that straight men are oppressed. Instead, I think they are saying that castigating straight men as a group for a single trait that you ascribe to the entire group is wrong, because it is (1) false – not all straight men refuse to wear masks; and (2) hurtful – as we know from the reactions of every other group of people who share a status but do not share a single, negative trait that is ascribed to them in our culture because of their status. No one wants to be hurt that way, no matter what status they occupy. People are more complex than that. Inflicting that kind of hurt on anyone, including straight men is wrong, and I think unworthy of you.
As a mom, I am betting that the esteemed Ormomdo taught you that two wrongs don’t make a right.
They are not comparable because straight men are not a historically oppressed group. One of them is a generalization, the other is a racist statement connected to a long history of violence, oppression and culturally enforced hate.
“See the Jews”…. Stereotypes by themselves did not lead to wars. “The Jews” were a target because of the millennium of virulent European anti-Semitism that made dehumanization uniquely possible for that group. That is not true of all groups in all societies. The history of how Black women have been treated and continue to be treated in this country could not be more different than the treatment of straight (especially white) men. Generalizations and stereotypes of dominant, not-oppressed groups may be impolite, but they are not the same as racist, misogynistic, homophobic or anti-Semitic statements.
I am jewish. Am I historically oppressed enough to have the opinion that I FEAR of ANY stereotypes? That the stereotypes no matter what kind are dagerous? Please don’t question my good will and intentions…
I’m absolutely questioning your intentions. Comparing this to racism shows an appalling lack of concern for racism. It’s disgusting.
I’m Jewish too. You can have whatever opinion you’d like.
I don’t think that all stereotypes are equally dangerous. They haven’t shown to be, over the course of history. The missing ingredient is power.
Regarding all negative statements about any group to be equally bad has the effect of flattening and erasing the historical context in which we live. It’s sort of pretending that we live in a different world, a world where all groups are like different baseball teams, out there playing the same game. Coming at this discussion from that lens has the effect of marginalizing those who know their group has not been given anything remotely resembling a fair shot, from the beginning.
To be clear, when I say ‘effect’, I am not talking about intentions. One of the hallmarks of the systemically racist society in which we all live is that it does not perpetuate itself exclusively through the intentions of people. That’s why it’s a system, where on an individual level, people can have wonderful intentions, but there’s an emergent property where some groups are consistently disadvantaged. (This is not to ignore the absolutely intentional racism which is very much present in our country.)
Part of my personal Jewish belief is a line from the Torah: “Tzedek, tzedek, tirdof”, meaning, “Justice, justice you shall pursue.” To me, the reiteration of the word justice hints that it’s not just the first layer that we should be investigating. Learning about the histories of those who have been historically marginalized has shown me that often, our culture insulates us from the reality that we are not all playing the same fair game.
Actually, it’s not just a stereotype. In public opinion surveys where people self-report mask wearing and studies of maskless people on the street, researchers have found that men are less likely than women to consistently wear masks.
Here are a couple examples:
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/20/nyregion/nyc-face-masks.html
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/08/27/more-americans-say-they-are-regularly-wearing-masks-in-stores-and-other-businesses/
Thank God, someone finally cited the research! It’s not a stereotype…
Here too:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2020/10/08/health/women-men-masks-social-distancing-wellness/index.html
But let’s just agree there is sadness in the world – some we can change and some we cannot control. And to take a lesson from parenting – shaming never produces a true change in behavior or a healthy growth mindset. So while I’d love for anti maskers to mask up, I need to find a better method to encourage and reward compliance without resorting to shaming. Because as a parent of a toddler and someone who grew up with a shaming mother, shaming. Does. Not. Work. Motivating people to change behavior on behalf of an invisible threat, similar to climate change, requires a varied, creative and diverse approach to many different audiences. There are no easy answers.
Gorgeous mural, love the look of the light placement, but afraid of earthquakes here in CA. Clever to round the corners – would love to stay here myself! I’m sure your parents will appreciate such thoughtful hospitality and I hope your brother recovers soon and thank him for his sacrifice as a health care worker.
cheers!
This comment is a mess.
Kate, this is satire, yes? Like, you’re definitely joking…right?
This is so beautiful Orlando! I’m so excited to see what you do with your house. I also have an 80s modern house that is similar to yours and I feel like I never see this style of house represented, so I’m so excited to see where you go with it! I definitely feel your pain on the carpet staple removal.
Just a modest comment on decoration *ignoring the main topic discussed here* Such a very calm, soft and inviting room!
Anyone else who see intestines on the pillows? I had to look more than twice so recognize them as snakes.
LOL! I thought the same thing upon first glance!
Omg, now that you’ve mentioned it, I can’t unsee the intestines! I love the color on the tassels though. Hope Satie doesn’t eventually eat them :).
Where is that big pink hanging from?
Orlando painted it (you can see his signature in the corner). I think he’s selling some of his art on his website if you are interested.
Thank you!
Congratulations, Orlando, the bedroom is very very beautiful. I would love to sleep and enjoy time there. The wall mural makes the room look much bigger and interesting.
I love wall paper that creates the ilusion of a bigger room.
On masks, I live in Spain where 100% of people wear a mask, even children six and older. Nobody complains about it but we are still suffering from the virus, although I don’t know whether we are better or worse than the US. Also, there are differences between regions in Spain, although we all wear a mask.
Wearing a mask, opening the windows and keeping social distance all seem to be somewhat useful fot fighting the virus, somewhat. Maybe there are also other important factors as cold weather. Nobody knows for sure.
Highly recommend googling “swiss cheese model pandemic” to see a great graphic that shows how each individual preventative solution (e.g. wearing masks) isn’t perfect, but if used together with other preventative measures (e.g. hand washing, social distancing, among various others), it is highly effective. Measures like mask wearing shouldn’t be dismissed just because they alone don’t eradicate the virus.
I felt the need to read all these comments. Some so amusing and relaxed, others high strung and RILED UP.
I don’t have a grand point here other than Emily, Orlando, the entire EHD team give us awesome content that is thoughtfully created and written with care.
We should handle this comments section the same way. This page doesn’t belong to each of us, it is work that the EHD team creates for us to visit and participate in. Let’s treat it with the same respect we would treat a guest book at a rental house – no need to flippantly bark when signing the guest book. Be cool, be kind, take a breath, take it easy.
If you’re feeling heated after reading about basic mask etiquette and some fair assessments, sit with that for a moment and consider why you’re worked up. Take a minute. Then sign the guest book.
Slow clap, Bfinn. Yes yes.
I also recently moved to the country and am living near my elderly parents. My parents live in an old house, and repairs have been necessary during COVID (plumbing, electrical). It amazes me that professional contractors are willing to walk maskless into a home where senior citizens live. My parents feel uncomfortable asking the contractors to wear masks, so I often find myself asking on their behalf. However, on one occasion, the plumbers came without my knowledge and spent over an hour in the house maskless. Afterwards, my Dad was so worried about COVID that he couldn’t sleep for several days. I am grateful that nothing worse happened, but REALLY? Is it worth putting elderly people at risk just so you can feel macho? ARRRGGGHHH! A real man (and any real grown-up, no matter their identification) would protect vulnerable people.
I wonder if they could put a sign on their door or something, like “please wear your mask inside?” My parents have had some necessary repairs as well and they keep a bag of disposable masks near the front door in case someone needs one. Thankfully nobody has ever turned up without one, but sometimes the workers will grab a fresh one if theirs get too dusty or sweaty in the course of doing the work.
Oh, also, I adore this room, especially the mural, the Japanese painting and that bench – those Annie Selke benches are so beautiful. But where did those cute slippers come from?
Some comments about the rest of the post, since I spent so many words on m**ks earlier.
*Did you start appreciating beige when you got Satie, Orlando? Her coat is the most beautiful shade of beige.
*Did that flowered comforter and its coordinating dust ruffle belong to you or did it come with the house? I like it a lot! I definitely like the new tables and lighting more than the old, though.
*Yes, please, have your Mom explain how to create those roll-up shades. I won’t tell you how many months I’ve had paper accordions on my picture window.
*Is the attractive hanging shelf to the right of the window a DIY as well? It must be very convenient.
*Most tasteful use of books in bedroom decor I’ve seen lately.
*Not sure about your doors – at first I was going to say they’re so pretty you should keep them, but then the more I looked, the more they reminded me of my multiple, close-together lauans. Maybe if you got some exceptional doorknobs for them, like Sara did in her office/guestroom?
I really enjoyed the posts you’ve made about your new place so far; thank you!
I am obsessed with the mural. The rounded corners just really set it off in the most special way! Great job as always, Orlando!
1. super creative and gorgeous room!can’t wait to see more from LondoLodge!
2. all the women jumping to defend poor, helpless, powerless straight men and comparing that paragraph to racism… yikes. beyond the fact that this was obvious hyperbole, you do know Orlando is gay, right. and that straight men have been and still are the biggest oppressors (and murderers) of the LGBTQIA+ community? so you’re telling someone to shut their mouth and be kinder to their oppressors… like what? i mean not to mention straight men have also been the biggest and most violent oppressors of women as well… i really think they’re doing a fine job hoarding power and privilege without your energy spent at their defense. go fight for a group that actually needs it. and no thank you to any #notallmen energy.
3. that puppy!! i die.
“No thank you to any #notallmen energy” — I need that on a t-shirt, please and thank you! xo
How does Orlando know these guys are straight? Did he ask them? The issue is that people who should be wearing masks are not wearing them. How is their sexuality even a consideration here?
f you want to see change toxic masculinity look at your own casual toxic masculinity in asking women to control men and calling men trash. It’s not cute it’s not funny, and it’s not appropriate. Being gay does not put you above it all. It’s offensive to both men and women to ask women to ” get men under control”. Beyond its offensiveness to men, millions of women in America live with domestic violence, or AGREE with the men in their lives that masks aren’t needed, just to name two populations of women who can’t
” control their men”. If women could ” control their men” we wouldn’t have such high rates of domestic partner violence rape and murder. If you want to see change in straight men then get into it and deal with them yourself.
From 1980 to 2008, nearly 1 out of 5 murder victims were killed by an intimate partner (Cooper & Smith, 2011). In fact, available research shows that women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner (husband, boyfriend, same-sex partner, or ex) than by anyone else (Catalano, 2013; Violence Policy Center, 2015). Approximately 2 out of 5 female murder victims are killed by an intimate partner (Cooper & Smith, 2011). In 2013, fifteen (15) times as many females were murdered by a male they knew than were killed by male strangers. For victims who knew their offenders, 62% were wives, common-law wives, ex-wives, or girlfriends of the offenders (Violence Policy Center, 2015).https://vawnet.org/sc/scope-problem-intimate-partner-homicide-statistics
HAI! I wanted to chime in on this because when I read the post this morning, I immediately Marco Polo’d Orlando (YES, I am name dropping so everyone knows I am intimate friends with SATIE’S DAD) and was like “I can’t believe more people aren’t yelling at you about telling women to get their husbands in line” because as women of course we all know that that is super offensive to us because it’s not our job to police our husbands/partners/fathers/brothers etc (ON THAT NOTE I want to add that if you’re offended by that idea, you probably shouldn’t feel the need to be up in the comments saying “NOT ALL MEN!” because they are big boys who can speak for themselves. Not that you are “kk”, but others…). But he explained to me that it was a comment on the old trope of “men get your women in line” that I didn’t catch. I know and have worked with Orlando so it’s easier for me because I know his character so I knew he didn’t mean what it sounded like he meant, but because we’re all sticking up for grown white privileged men here, I thought I would do so for Satie’s dad as well. However, I appreciate and agree with your passion around everything you said kk. – love all your straight up FACTS. xx
I’m not here to stick up for grown white privileged men, because they’re doing just fine by themselves.
But, to be clear, what Orlando said about “women get your men in line” WAS misogynistic and offensive. It plays into a trope that gets women hurt and killed on a regular basis. And it really doesn’t matter in the slightest what his intention was, so it’s unfortunate that you decided to publish it.
Frankly, women living with DV would not take the risk to think of telling their male counterpart to do something.
That’s not how the dynamic works.
That’s the truth.
Hi! So my intent in calling on women to “control their men” was actually a reference to the old, sexist phrase “control your woman” that harkens to a time when societal rules relegated women to a secondary status and men spoke for them. Here, I was sort of imagining the opposite – an idealized world where women controlled everything. Yes, we aren’t quite there yet, but I genuinely believe that a world in which women had more control would be better and I was writing with that aspiration in mind. Clearly, since I just had to explain it, it wasn’t a good joke and I’m sorry. But the linkage between me imaging a female-dominated world and me being a proponent of domestic violence seems thin – I was advocating for women to feel empowered enough to tell the men in their lives to get it together (which, honestly, everyone needs to hear sometimes). The reason I addressed women, rather than the straight men I was calling out, is that I know Emily’s readership is predominantly female and, likely because of general statistics, predominantly read by people who are male-attracted (that isn’t to say that Emily doesn’t cherish her non-female identifying, non-male attracted or non-binary readers, I know she does very much so). I actually included that caveat in an earlier draft of this post but it felt too wordy so I got rid of it. I think in an ideal world, any person of any gender would feel comfortable enough with their partner to urge them to wear a mask. And again, I take your notes on domestic violence very seriously, I’m sorry, and I take full responsibility for any clumsiness in my attempt to make what I thought was a feminist remark. But if imagining a world in which women control everything makes me toxically masculine, my brain hurts.
You’re right, it was not a good joke. Your intention =/= your impact.
I would hope that we can all agree now that “it was just a joke” isn’t actually a great defense. You could just accept that your words had a harmful effect and apologize instead. Ideally in the original post.
I hope you read my comment above.
Phoot!
Lived experience is irrefutable.
Orlando, sometimes ‘jokes’ can be the only way to get the message through.
I’ve lived with domestic violence and coercive control for over 3 decades and I find nooffence in your comments or jokes. None.
What you’ve said needs to be said and, frankly, if a woman is unable to have that kind of discussion with her male partner, I hope with huge hope, that she finds the courage to fet out of that relationship ASAP and not live a shadowy whisper of a life like I have.
ORLANDO, YOU JUST BE YOU!!!!
You’re speaking the truth and women in DV situations wouldn’t take the risk to speak up anyway.
“…an idealized world where women controlled everything”.
Ask any working mom with a husband* who has her shxt together and we already KNOW us women run and rule the world.
We kick butt at our careers, we are the CEO of the home, we take on way more in regards to child-raising, and our hard-work is the reason those “men who rule the world” get out of the house in the morning on-time (1), showered and dressed (2), fed and caffeinated (3) with the freedom to commit to their careers (4).
*using husband and not significant other because this is a male/female topic
(1) for me, I have already handled most of the logistics regarding the children, thus allowing my husband to get ready with minimal additional tasks in the mornings. yes, he contributes to the “get the kids ready” shuffle, but that is smooth b/c of how I keep our household.
(2) I coordinate the house cleaner’s schedule, to ensure the shower is clean and ready; I wash our family’s towels; I don’t wash my husband’s clothes (stopped that when our first was born). I fired the toilet-paper fairy years ago, it’s me who makes sure we never run out of toilet-paper. I mean, how else does it seem that the cabinet never goes empty of that crucial TP?!
(3) I grocery shop for our family, ensuring there are breakfast foods in the kitchen, and I make the coffee every morning, so he wakes up to it ready in his insulated travel mug.
(4) It’s been proven over and over again that women take on more in the home, even as we too have full-time careers, work our way to the top; we still take on most of the tasks that are required to run a household. And once you have a kid(s), “running a household” is most definitely a big thing.
Obviously these specific examples are personal to me and my situation, but I know – I KNOW – this is how it is for a lot of families out there, and specifically us women. And I am totally using generalizations here (again, that are personal to me and I’m casting a broad net) but I see this sort of situation with my friends, those with kids and even those without kids.
When women like my mom, back in the 70’s and 80’s, decided to work full-time at her career and not be a stay-at-home mom, I am forever grateful for that – she and her generation paved the road to me having a life out of the house, which I very much value.
Unfortunately, the enormous, never-ending task of running the home didn’t come up for discussion (but I see it coming up now!), and us women just have more on our plates. It took years for me to learn how to manage this, how to ask for help / direct on tasks – basically I realized that the bottom line is I *AM* in charge of our household, and as any good manager/director knows – that does not mean I “do it all”, it means I delegate. Also, I’m naturally a control freak so this works for me, now that I’ve learned how to do it well. LOL.
Sadly, “running the world” as in – doing the bulk of the thinking and labor to keep something going, is not the same as having broad power and privilege in the outside world. Women in general do the majority of the labor in the home and obviously work outside the home as well. This sadly does not mean that women have as much power in this world as men. Or maybe we could say that running the world and ruling the world are different. Sadly, it does not seem to me that women “rule” the world, as much as I’d like them to. (along with other equitable re-distribution of power)
Maybe the women feign agreement to placate the men?!?!
Chiming in to say I would love a tutorial on those window coverings! That’s exactly what I need, they look great!
can we just get design inspiration?
Orlando is a human, not a design robot here to do your bidding. I’m sure there are many bloggers who “aren’t political” (a fallacy) that you can go read.
So this is political blog with a bit of design. ok got it.
As of 5:30pm Pacific time there are more comments about the commentary than the design. Telling me and few others to find a new political commentary/design blog is fine–but know when there are rules for commenting for me there will eventually be rules for you and you will be summarily excused to find another blog to read.
I believe if you want to see pretty things then leave it at pretty things I can purchase and add to my home; if you want to have a one-sided political commentary then just post it labeled as such and those of us who don’t want to read can move one. Simple.
If accidentally reading some “political” commentary (not even getting into the fact that basic public health measures are politicized in this godforsaken country) is the worst thing that happened to you today, you’re living a pretty charmed life. I’m very sorry the comment section is not to your taste, that must be really difficult for you.
yes, I must be leading a charmed life… I am in California and I wear a mask everywhere.
My grandkids are in daycare and last week someone there tested positive. My kids were frantic for about an hour and then calmed down. They had a realization that it was going to happen at some point. Both kids are home and they are being watched for symptoms–but as we all know, children are not spreaders and have a small percentage of getting the virus. So watchful waiting for them.
So to your point, I just want so much pretty and beautiful when I click over to this blog. You want a political conversation– I don’t.
If it’s so difficult for you, then just stop coming back to this page and leaving silly comments like this.
This is a design blog, yes.
The people that provide the content are intelligent, whole, humans…with opinions, interests and passions.
Therefore, I choose to be here forthe whole deal!
I’m grateful for EVERYTHING this blog provides!
Rusty I get what you are wanting. But that is not what I want from a home design blog. I just want inspiration and purchase links. I don’t get the need for political discussion. But whatever I am sure Target can get enough clicks from Emily without any from me
OK, but separately I would love a design robot to do my bidding!
Love love!
This room is so much better than I thought based on the title! I mean if this is the for now, I can’t imagine. I like this so much.
This will be my last time reading this blog. I have been following for many years, but honestly I am sick and tired of people lecturing me. I am a mother of boys and the term such as “toxic masculinity” is, for a lack of better words, toxic.
Best of luck to your boys in the future then.
Mother of a boy here!
Super important to raise them with empathy and kindness, and step outside of the yes, toxic, parameters that unfortunately for many people define what they think masculinity is.
I find this a bit confusing – toxic masculinity isn’t a critique of boys and men, but of certain cultural concepts or norms that boys and men are socialized into, to their detriment as well as others’.
Yup, toxic masculinity is bad for everyone.
I think some people who lack critical thinking skills see the words “toxic masculinity” and cannot help but jump to “men are toxic.” It’s really a shame because there are so many resources at our disposal, if only we are willing to use them to learn and change.
yep I was hoping this was a design blog
Later gator!
Funny how the mask wearers didn’t interpret this as a lecture.
This is not an airport and you don’t need to announce your department.
Love the room, Orlando. The mural is just gorgeous and such a wonderful tribute to your mom’s love of Japanese items. As far as men not wearing masks, don’t even get me started. We’ve been home since March and only go out for walks. But to see men not wearing masks while the women/children are drives me crazy. I just want to yell at them. We moved out of the city too (because of the pandemic and not wanting to live in a high-rise anymore – we are both in the at-risk group) and now live closer to the beach. On our weekend beach walks I want to scream at all the people not wearing masks while walking on the beach. Um, we live in CA and masks have been mandated since March. It’s not just men but mostly it’s men not wearing masks. I love Satie’s sweaters you post on Instagram.
Oh! So many things!
FIRST: congratulations on joining the Pittie Mix Parent Cult. Our APBT is almost ten, and he finally chilled out two years ago. He’s a regal gentleman and an expert napper. But the first 8 years were a P*A*R*T*Y; the meat missile energy is real. Here are three things that helped: clicker training (only positive reinforcement! No punishment), swift and calm communication with other people about how your dog is energetic but well-behaved and you are in control of her (it’s important that this be true, see: clicker training), and a flirt pole. What is a flirt pole? It’s like a giant cat toy for dogs with a strong prey drive/chew/tug need. You can find instructions on ye interwebs on how to make one. It’s almost impossible to tire out a 2 year old pittie, but the flirt pole gets pretty close. A tired dog is a good dog.
SECOND: I’m pretty sure “ladies come get your trash men” was a joke; everyone chill out. Toxic masculinity is real; coronavirus is real; 300k people dead is real; everything is horrible and all we have are jokes (and masks). Wear a mask, tell more jokes. If you feel like yelling about either masks or jokes, please go eat a sandwich instead.
THIRD: I love this room, and I too, am coming around to beige after being traumatized by it in McMansions as a millennial child. Here’s to holdover design: if you’re going to be anywhere for more than ten minutes you should make it nice.
Agreeing with everything you said and throwing out another fantastic experience with clicker training. Positive training is wonderful and fun for both you and doggo!
Love this room! It’s very soothing. Re: your workmen not wearing masks. Have a baskct, box of disposable masks at the door to hand out to all who don’t have them. When you make the appointments either by phone or email make sure to let them know that “masks are necessary when working with me”. Set your boundaries and expectations. I have found that in more rural areas (yes, generalizing here) that there looser masking expectations. But–your house, your business, your rules.
Tried to find that mural on the York website but could not locate. 🙁
Check the details on his blog?https://orlandosoria.com/2020/12/15/mixing-high-low-in-a-londo-lodge-guest-bedroom/
I love this room and I love that it is so clearly done to make OrMOMdo happy. The Japanese influence was my first thought when I saw the mural. I miss seeing her on your instagram, but now I get to enjoy puppy pictures so there’s that. I am really looking forward to see all that you are going to do with this California cabin!
As for the mask argument, I know a lot of you are not from California so you probably don’t get our news, but in his area of the state there are ZERO ICU beds. They are putting beds in a state mental hospital for people. Imagine having some medical emergency and there not being anyone to help you or a bed to put you in. It’s that bad here. Imagine you did all you could to keep your fellow humans safe for all of these months only to end up here because people are selfish. Yeah, a lot of us are angry and fed up and won’t be quiet anymore.
What an adorable dog!! I hope she was a rescue and not a purchase.
I really love you. You are hilarious. Also you are right about the men, though I’m in London where it’s not so bad regarding the masks, but as bad regarding the bags. Grrr. Also, look at your puppy, she is gorgeous. As is your handiwork.
This is so beautiful!!
Although the room is great and I completely empathize with the “good enough for now” viewpoint, that cute hanging shelf is driving me crazy. It appears to be just in the right place to crash into when one gets up at night, thereby knocking everything off and leaving a bruise on one’s hip/ribs.
Orlando, your covid rants are my favorite part of this blog right now. It is exhausting doing the right thing, and then seeing so many people not doing something so easy under the pretense of their freedom (so many contradictions there). Also, this transformation is a reminder not to be scared away from the ugly ducklings. I am in the midst of a slow and frustrating N. CA house search right now, and this is a reminder to be open to everything! If people have to come to my house right now I tell them all I have done to make it safe for them, and then give them a paper mask if they don’t have one. It is no longer my job to care what other people think about me protecting my family. I have 0 f-s to give right now.
i LOVE that you are gifting us with TWO makeovers, and that the first one is accessible in numerous ways! I am also super excited about this beigeness. We just moved house from a cute 1920s cottage, all white and bright, to a house that has completely beige bathrooms with beige floor tiles and beige and brown grassclothy wallpaper (??!!) and the very dark brown/ bronzey finishes and even dark chocolate brown moulding everywhere (including the ceiling?!!) and at first I wanted to rip everything out while screaming but then I remember I have small children and no bandwidth, and need to work around the big pieces. So I am beyond excited to see beige-based inspo! so, thank you for that! 🙂 Best wishes for you in your new place, and thanks for sharing your immense talent and wit!
one more comment. i went to orlando’s blog and couldn’t find any reference to those lamps on the nightstands. can we get a source?
nevermind. found them. doh!
I can’t find them! Can you share?
100% with you on toxic masculinity and lack of mask-wearing BUT, to be clear, it is not the job of women to make men wear masks. If straight men are gonna be asshats, that’s on them, not on us.
Like I would absolutely not stay with a man who refused to wear a mask, because that speaks to some pretty shitty values. But I also straight-up refuse any attempt at making me feel like it’s my job to change his behavior. That’s misogynistic as hell.
I can’t speak for Orlando but I saw that as more of a play on the traditional idea of a man keeping his wife “in line.” Knowing what I do about Orlando, I HIGHLY doubt he actually thinks this, but was using his typically humorous and exaggerated writing style.
Yep!
I’ve finally found the courage to get the “shitty values” out of my life!
The difference is immense.
I can now be my authentic self!
Yaaay!
You are rude.
I think this is my favorite room you’ve ever done! To me, that mural is perfect for that home and its location and for the sentimental reasons it was used.
I need that duvet in my life! Can you please tell me who makes it? : )
Check the details on his blog?https://orlandosoria.com/2020/12/15/mixing-high-low-in-a-londo-lodge-guest-bedroom/
Love the room, it feels so much bigger than before. Also, curving the top corners-genius!
Also, covid threat has mostly been contained here Vic, Australia, but i still wear a mask! (with a non patented revolutionary nose fold!!!)
Loved this post, Satie and Orlando’s writing!
I cannot begin to say how much I love this post- the sentiment, the room, and of course the dog. Thank you for good words and creative inspiration.
Oh, and pitbulls are little dog geniuses. Mine was fully trained at 3 months. You will never love a dog like you love her, they are the best!
I adore you, Orlando! And was already a fan of your insta and blog. I’m also queer, wear a mask in public, physical distance, and hear what you’re saying about toxic masculinity.
I was not triggered by your post…but, I DID take pause. Had you (or anyone) made a sweeping comment about a different segment of people that I identify with more closely, I would have been triggered and hurt. Even if you did so in jest and even if I knew you didn’t really mean it that way. Personally, I prefer not conflating issues. More important and fundamental, I prefer leading with love and inclusion, always.
Orlando is such an insanely talented designer. The room looks beautiful. I loved seeing that Angelica Huston photo in the corner. It’s one of my favorites pieces of his.
hmm do not love the demand that women be solely responsible for the men in their lives. what grown men do or do not do is up to them alone and it is NOT up to the women in their lives to rectify their behaviour. this whole ‘ladies, you can change him!’ narrative is tired and steeped in misogyny. please redirect your rant at the people who actually refuse to wear masks and not the innocent women standing next to them, thanks.
I do understand that not a lot of men read this blog, but then maybe this isn’t the appropriate place for this rant. maybe GQ needs some design/mask content.
as an afab person i’m just tired of being held responsible for the (mis)behaviour of men who are fully capable of making their own decisions.
I have tried (many times) to get the people in my life (male, female and other) to take this pandemic serious and it is very difficult and exhausting work. I would appreciate not being scolded for it by strangers.
Pretty sure he was joking and prefaced it with not many straight men read his blog so he was reaching out to women who do read his blog and have access to the men not wearing masks.
Main message, everyone please wear a mask
my point is that letting men off the hook for their behaviour but blaming the women in their life for the man’s behaviour is part of toxic masculinity. it is strange (and hypocritical) to rail against toxic male behaviour in one way and than exhibit a form of toxic masculinity in the very next sentence.
I think Orlando has some more learning to do on this subject. My main message is: “women are not to blame for toxic masculinity”
Orlando, you da best! This room is beautiful. So excited to see everything in your new home. Thank you. You made me laugh about your men comment…my husband has been unwillingly wearing a mask throughout, as have I, and we’re just getting over Covid. It’s a bit of a #%*! shoot. I look forward to everything you do.
Love the room. Love the love for masks. In the future, please think twice before demanding – even in jest – that women take responsibility for fixing toxic masculinity. Please take a moment to reflect on why that doesn’t sit well with many of us.
I love the new vibe. However, you may want to look up using exterior paint inside a bedroom. I’m not completely sure, but I think exterior paint can be toxic (you know, voc’s etc) which can be bad in an enclosed room you spend at least a third of your day in sleeping…
Thank you for this Orlando. All of it. The call-outs, the honesty and especially this room! It looks incredible and it’s really inspiring to see that it can be done DIY if you have the patience to figure it out. Your ability to mix patterns and colours and art has always blown me away. You’re a true talent and I can’t wait to see more!!
I just want to say how much I have enjoyed your unfiltered posts! It’s cathartic as heck to read your unvarished comments about people, toxic masculinity, anti-maskers, etc. Thanks. It makes me feel a little better to feel like I share the same sentiments as someone else!
Also, the guest room is top notch.
Love this room and considering mural and “snake” pillows for my new master bedroom! BTW, where did you get those “snake” pillows? Glad to see you did not go with gray (so depressing), but love the doors (easy to clean)! This is so refreshing!
As a straight male reader, those comments feels pretty harsh and generalized. I know you use humor/sarcasm in your posts but a simple “wear your mask, people” would have sufficed.
Side note — I wear my mask.
I love your dog!!! She looks just like my weimarainer-pit bull mix. They have the same color eyes and fur, with the white mark on the chest! Congrats on being a dog dad!!